The Gospel according to Twitter

Michael Gove announced this week that every school in the country is to get a copy of the latest version of the King James Bible, with a forward written by the man himself. This was immediately pounced upon by the chattering classes and dubbed "Goves Bible", the "Bible according to Gove" or "The book of Gove".

The twitterati then got to work suggesting what the bible may contain, and in addition what the bible according to Labour and the bible according to the Lib Dems might look like as well, here are a few of my personal favourite tweets over the last couple of days.

Labour Bible

• God also instructed Noah to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, Harriett Harman insisted that they be selecting from an all female shortlist.
• Opening their treasures, they presented to Him gifts of frankincense and myrrh, as all the gold had been sold by Gordon Brown
• And it came to pass that Gordon was cast out of heaven for leaving his microphone on and referring to God as a "bigoted woman"
• And the prophet Gordon went into a biblical rage and lobbeth his mobile telephone at prophet Alistair's bonce...
• And Saint Gordon of Kirkcaldy did decree that boometh and busteth would no longer hang as a spectre over our fair land.
• And on the 5th day God demanded a gold plated pension and a pay rise. This was not given so he went on strike
• In the beginning was a surplus. And it was a good surplus. And Brown said "let there be debt." And there was debt
• And thus the Holy Trinity was formed, the Labour party, the BBC and the Guardian
• And Ed looked upon the world and said this is a good company and that is a bad company. Blessed is the name of the Ed.

and from the Lib Dem Bible

• Blessed are the sandal-wearers.
• And so conference did put the sandwich choices to a preferential vote, for the constitution did require this should be so.
• The Tories beguiled me and I did vote for £9000 tuition fees, even though I'd promised I wouldn't.
•  In the beginning, there was Ming, and he'd already been around a bit.
• And thus forevermore they were proclaimed "the don't knows".
• In the beginning the earth was without form and void, and it was all the Lib Dems fault.
• And the lost tribes were dispersed and vanished behind a burning bush.